Pup Play 101

The PLUR Pup Manifesto:

PEACE: All dogs are Good Dogs, we assume best intent whenever possible.
LOVE: All pups deserve unconditional love, regardless of all the elements that usually divide human society.
UNITY: Those with more contribute so that those with less have equitable access to our community,
RESPECT: We respect the right to revoke consent at any time, even when it’s nonverbal. We are gentle but firm with our “no,” and accept no less than an enthusiastic “yes.”
PLAY: We believe in the power of play, and treat our pup identities as more than a costume.

What is headspace?

“Headspace” is role playing as a dog: letting go of human worries and preconceptions, and inhabiting a dog’s more innocent view of the world. Here’s a guide to what headspace is like.

  
        Humans
        Pup Headspace
      
        Nervous to talk to strangers because they might judge me
        Dogs don’t worry about what new dogs think of them
      
        People might think I’m hitting on them
        No expectations from the interaction, pup gear is a bat signal for other pups to come meet you
      
        Hitting on them feels very vulnerable; it takes a lot of escalation and evaluation cycles to judge interest
        If I escalate the interaction and they’re not interested, it’s immediately obvious, and low stakes
      
        What if they don’t want to talk to me?
        Either of us can get distracted and walk away and it doesn’t matter; the mat is full of playmates
      
        How do I think of what to say?
        No words, just body language. Sniff, play bow, nuzzle, toss chew toy, bark
      
        Thiking about that awkward thing I did yesterday
        Dogs don’t ruminate about the past
      
        Worrying about the bill I have to pay tomorrow
        Dogs don’t plan for the future
      
        Planning out how to spend time at an event
        Reacting only to what’s in front of you right now
      
        Expectation that we have to be talking if we’re hanging out
        We can just be silently present, cuddle
      
        Constantly aware of my body; touching someone carries a ton of social implications
        You can lay across/bump into/cuddle with five pups on the mats and no one thinks twice about it; they’ll move away if they’re not into it
      
        I need familiar people around me to feel safe
        Being around anyone in a hood makes me feel safe, because they’re part of my community
      
        Feeling judged for what I’m wearing
        Everyone’s more or less wearing the same thing
      
        Feeling judged for my job, class, gender presentation, queerness, race, body…
        Many differences are erased by being hooded and nonverbal; it’s a more level playing field
      
        Worrying that I’ll be judged by the other shallow gays for interacting with guys “below my league”
        I’m not thinking about hierarchy, and who’s hot and who’s not; I give affection more equally to anypup who approaches me; I’m not worrying what the other pups think
      
        Worrying that guys “out of my league” will reject me
        We’re all dogs, and dogs will play with nearly anyone; there’s less weight of expectation
      
        Worrying people will think I’m dumb if I act silly
        Chasing a stick, bapping a baloon, being excited for something, it doesn’t matter because we’re all here being silly together
      
        Feeling lost for words on how to express how I’m feeling
        The limited range of dog sounds/dog body language removes the pressure to think of the right words to say; dogs aren’t self concious about their emotions, their tails give them away instantly

What Happens at a Pup Mosh?

Moshes are highly regional—each city, and each event has its own rules and its own vibe. As an example, here’s a description of Woof in San Francisco, the most popular mosh event in the Bay Area.

Woof happens 3-6P every first Saturday at The Eagle, a leather/kink bar in the Leather Cultural District (in SoMA). There’s a $5 suggested donation, payable by cash or venmo. You must be 21+ to attend and the venue is strict about this (though the same org also runs a 18+ event elsewhere). This event is non-frisky, as in you can be sexy, but not sexual. This has to do with bar laws in SF. The limit here is that you can’t have your bone out, and can’t insert bones into maws or tails (no dicks in mouths/butts). Lots of pups (I’d guess 75 or more) show up. Depending on the weather, the actual mosh space is either outside on the patio, or in a smaller space inside. Some pups interact in 2-legged mode, drinking and chatting with friends. The “mosh” part of the pup mosh is the mats: thick padded gymnastics-style mats, very roughly 25’x25’. You’re required to take your shoes off on the mats and put them on elsewhere in the bar. There is no formal coat check, folx usually stack their stuff nearby, or bring backpacks and put their things on the space near the mats. The mosh rules are posted on a sign, and there’s volunteers in high-vis vests there to monitor for safety, and to help ease new pups in.

It’s helpful to bring a hood or muzzle, knee pads, and gloves, but none of these are required, you just can’t wear anything with sharp edges for safety. It’s also helpful to wear your name somewhere, as you won’t be easily recognizable in gear, and it’s a common icebreaker to walk up to a new pup and inspect the nametag on their collar.

Transitioning from 2-legged mode to 4-legged mode (on all fours) can feel awkward at first. You might not be sure what to do or whether the other pups will want to interact with you. Be patient with yourself, and trust that you’ll get comfortable after a period of adjustment. There’s no training or sign-in required to get on the mats, you just find an open spot, and get down on all fours. Sometimes there’s a designated quiet area if you want to cuddle/rest instead of play.

Once on the mats, you can observe, wait for somepup to approach you, or find a pup to play with. Signal interest using one of the behaviors listed below. Many pups prefer to be non-verbal on the mats, and some will be bothered if you’re engaging with others in human mode, so I recommend that if you want to have a conversation, exit the mats to talk or remove your gear. Nonverbal consent works on an escalate-and-evaluate basis: signal interest, evaluate their response, and only escalate to a more intimate behavior if it’s clear they’re interested. For example, if you see a pup you want to play with, you can play-bow toward them, or just lock eyes and wag your tail. If the pup returns the play-bow, moves towards you, checks your nametag, touches you, etc… then you can escalate to touching, and again evaluate how they respond. If they don’t react, seem distracted, or move away, stop.

If you need help meeting other pups, approach a play monitor, and sit/look up at them, or bark. They generally do a good job of recognizing pups who need help meeting other pups/handlers, and will engage with you/introduce you.

There are squeaky and chew toys provided by the mosh. Don’t actually put any in your mouth; tugging is dangerous for human teeth, and isn’t sanitary—use your paws or muzzle to bap or toss them around instead. Playing with these is purely optional.

The mats tend to be emptier at the beginning, and crowded at the end. 25-40 pups might be on the mats at the same time, and space can get limited, where you’ll need to crawl over others to move, and you won’t be able to avoid being touched by others. Pups usually have less of a sense of personal space than humans, but still monitor how others react, and if someone moves away, try to give them space.

When anypup howls, the entire mosh will join in. Avoid doing it too often or it gets old, but it’s also a fun feeling to initiate it.

At the end of the mosh, folx collect their stuff and trade contact info if they want to stay in touch. Some of us like to go out to dinner nearby as a group after.

Compendium of Human Pup Behaviors

This isn’t an exhaustive or authoritative list, and you don’t need to memorize it—it’s just here so you have a general sense of what to expect, if you’re the type that finds clear expectations comforting. If you tend to overthink, don’t worry! You can easily learn by doing, and there’s no wrong answers. The important thing is just to get over your self-consciousness and get on the mats. The rest you can learn through osmosis.

Resting

Cuddle: sit or lie touching another pup in any amount. More contact usually means more affection. Some pups (especially fluffy/beefy ones that get hot easily) may prefer less contact. You might pet or massage the other pup to offer reassuring presence, or just enjoy the skintime.
Circle: turn in a circle before sitting/laying to indicate you’ll be there for a while

Curious

Approach & sit: sit at attention, kneeling, with your arms vertical, and resting on your paws (fists with knuckles facing away from you). This signals “I’m ready” or “I’m paying attention.”
Eye contact: lock eyes to show interest. Variation: smile with your eyes.
Tag inspect: many pups look alike, so it’s common practice to lean towards/reach up to a pup’s collar tag to read their name, and the gesture also functions as a wordless “hi I’d like to meet you.” Most pups are OK with being approached to read their tag (that’s likely why they’re wearing it) and won’t be surprised by it as long it’s clear what you’re doing.
Nod: equivaent of human “‘sup?”
Sniff: to indicate curiosity. Pick a location based on your sense of what that pup is OK with and whether you want to be innocent or flirty, eg head, hands, feet, armpits, tail, crotch… Be certain of interest before picking a very personal spot.
Head tilt: equivalent of human “hmm?,” “interesting” or to show confusion.

Happy/Friendly/Playful

Bark: pick any type of dog vocalization you like. Woof, ruff, hooof (low pitched), boof, arwoo, awooo… Tone and body language convey greeting, approval, disapproval, friendliness, agression, etc…
Howl: anypup howling (awooooooo) at the mosh will start all the pups howling. It’s a nice sense of unity.
Boop: a gentle, brief tap on the muzzle nose, expresses fondness
Play bow: lower your shoulders/head, quickly hop your body upwards from your front paws and land back down again (like the excited-biodog equivalent). Signals excitement, “play with me.”
Wag: move your tail back and forth to indicate joy. The faster/bigger the more excitement. Easier with a rubber tail.
Paw (with human): shake hands like a dog. Engage if you want to show interest, ignore if you don’t.
Treat (with human): accept a human-edible treat. Accept to show interest, refuse to signal “no.”
Fetch: bap a toy towards another pup (or get a handler to throw it), and move it back and forth. Use paws or muzzle. Optionally toy with the object before returning it, or be bratty and refuse to give it back.
Fetch circle: involve other pups in playing fetch, take turns bapping the object between each other.
Toy toss: bap a toy at somepup you’d like to play with, or a friend not paying attention, to invite them to play.
Toy jenga: stack toys on another pup’s muzzle, head, or other body part, until they fall over. Optionally stack toys balanced on two pups’ muzzles, and have them move in sync to keep them balanced.
Wrestling: attempt to tackle/pin another pup to the mat. Make sure this pup has indicated they’re interested in high energy play. Match their energy, and don’t get too aggressive if you sense they aren’t using full power on you.
Sock steal: attempt to steal a sock from a handler or pup. Best if it’s a pup you’ve already had playful interaction with.

Affection/Flirting

Nuzzle: somewhat cat-like, brush your face up against the other pup.
Pet: stroke another pup’s body with your paw. Pick body part appropriately to signal friendly or flirty intent; make sure they’ve given you indication that touch is OK.
Scritches: scrach behind another pup’s head, optionally lean your head towards them and touch foreheads or the sides of your heads. Can be comforting or playful depending on speed and intensity.
Belly pets: roll over and offer up your belly for pets. Indicates high affection. Optionally kick your paws around and vocalize to indicate enjoyment.
Growl: longer, lower, softer sounds often used outside of the strict dog sense of aggression, but instead meant as sexy.
Butt/crotch sniff: make sure the receiving pup has already indicated interest through eye contact, touching, etc before trying this, and back off if it gets a recoil/freeze reaction
Spicy Cuddles: cuddlng but add touching erotic zones (tail/crotch/nipples, etc…) Be sure the other pup is showing signs of interest first.
Frot: rub bones against each other (through clothing at SFW moshes). Check for signs of interest first.
Fondle: rub/grab a pup’s erotic zones with your paws or muzzle. Be certain of interest first.
Hump: get behind another pup and rub crotch to butt (through clothing at SFW moshes). Fast or slow depending on energy. Be certain of interest first.
Ride: put your crotch or tail in the face of another pup, in any orientation. Can be playful and silly or flirty. Be certain of interest first.
Massage: like the human version. Be certian of interest first.

Sad

Whine/whimper:can express sadness, lonliness, exclusion, begging
Head droop, slow movement: sadness.

Disinterest/Disapproval

Head shake: “no thanks,” same as human.
Freeze/ignore: absence of reaction can signal “no thanks.”
Avoid: move away to avoid touch.
Recoil: move away and actively turn away from the pursuer.
Bark: short, aggressive, loud, combined with moving away can signal “no.”
Exit: relocate to a different part of the mat to signal disengagement.